A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Thanks to all who posted comments to my last post. I have such amazing friends! The line that really hit me between the eyes was when my friend Felicia said, "Don't punish Ben for another man's sins." I realized at that moment that's exactly what I've been doing. My poor husband!!!! I've prayed a lot in the last few days about what I need to do. I think it's going to take a while to figure out exactly how I need to move forward. But for now, I'm moving forward, and leaving him behind me. So in celebration, I want to share with everyone just how blessed I am.

My husband, Benjamin, is an amazing man. He has his own baggage just like the rest of us, but Adriana and I are always in the forefront of his mind. He has shown me nothing but unconditional love when what I really deserve is to be smacked upside the head! He works his butt off so that I am able to stay home with Adriana—not to mention to pay off all the debt we got into while he was in school (which is a huge undertaking...). He's a wonderful husband and an amazing father! I couldn't ask for anything better.

My daughter, Adriana, is truly a gift from God. If you've never read our birth story, take a quick jaunt over there. I personally think it's quite amazing. While I was in the hospital, the night before we went home, I was just sitting there next to her bassinet weeping (partly because of hormones and lack of sleep) because I was so elated that she was finally here—a life-long dream in the flesh! And I believe that God spoke to me at that moment (call it what you want—I believe it was a prophetic word) and said, "Because of the tears of a mother for her child, many will be saved." She's a blessing to everyone who comes in contact with her. She has a smile for everyone she sees, and she loves without reserve. I'm telling you, this girl is going to change the world.

We have clothes and shoes, a roof over our heads, and food in our stomachs, and a job to pay the bills with a little money left over to save. I have an amazing house church family who continually encourage my walk with God. And I have God—not just a religion, but a relationship—a two way relationship. He really has given me so much. Much more than I deserve. Enough to help me keep walking until old wounds can heal over.

Blessed by Martina McBride

I get kissed by the sun each morning
Put my feet on a hardwood floor
I get to hear my children laughing
Down the hall through the bedroom door
Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing
Just soaking up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Across a crowded room
I know you know what I'm thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we're lying in the quiet
And no words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

When I'm singing my kids to sleep
When I feel you holding me
I know

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Whoever thought you could praise God with a country song? *wink*

posted by Brandi at 7:25 PM