Conversations With God

God speaks to me on a pretty regular basis. No, I mean He really talks to me. I don't hear audible voices, but I might as well. It's that clear. And I know it's not just my own thoughts, because I would never come up on my own with the things He says. I remember the first time I heard him. It was 5am and I was driving down Mark Dabling on my way to work at NavPress. Vivian was off work that day, so I went in early to turn on the phones. I was listening to "Awesome God" sung by Michael W. Smith on the radio. I was, as usual, singing at the top of my lungs, and all of a sudden, I hear (in my head),

GOD: "Do you really believe that?"

Brandi: I was stunned. "Are you talking to me?"

GOD: "Uh, yeah. You're the only one here." (see, God DOES have a sense of humor *grin*) "Do you REALLY believe that I'm that awesome?"

Brandi: "Well, of course I do..." (sheepishly) "at least I think I do...don't I?"

GOD: (gently) "If I'm so awesome, then why can't you trust me?"

At the time, we were in the deep of infertility pain, and I was really struggling with believing the promises He had given to me. He never accused me, never "hit me" over the head...He just asked me a question.

I had another conversation with Him last week. I was on my way to my sister's house to pick up my BIL and my two nieces to take them to pick up his car from the body shop. I turned off of our street and almsot immediately this red, sporty little Miata was climbing up my tail pipe. Normally I'd try to go a little faster until he can get around me. But it was a time of day where kids were coming out to wait for busses and walking to school, and I don't take any chances with that. I was doing 25mph, and he was peeking around the side (of a two lane road) and speeding up and slowing down—very obviously annoyed wtih me. He followed me doing this for about a mile. Then we both turned (onto another two lane road) and I sped up to 40 (no kids around and the speed limit was 35). Well, that wasn't good enough for him. He passed me going about 50mph on a two lane road with oncoming traffic!!! I was insensed!! I called him every name in the book I could think to call him and THEN some!!! That's when the conversation began.

Brandi: "I hope there's a cop down there! God, why is there NEVER a cop down there to catch these people!!!"

GOD: "Don't worry about him."

Brandi: "But do you SEE what he's doing???? He's going to kill someone!"

GOD: "Don't worry about him."

Brandi: "I just want to SEE it happen. Why can't I ever SEE it happen?"

GOD: "Why does it matter?"

Brandi: "Well, I'd just feel much better if I could see him get in trouble for what he did."

GOD: "So am I any less just if you don't SEE it?"

Brandi: *silence* "No, I guess not. I'm sorry...."

GOD: "It's okay. You worry about you, because you'll be accountable for YOU, not him."

A couple more blocks went by and I passed a church on the right. The church marquee boldly stated, "Healing Service tonight at 7 o'clock"

Brandi: "Yeah...right."

GOD: "Why do you say that?? Haven't you experienced My healing before?"

Brandi: "Well, yeah, but...I don't know. I've been taught for so long that those gifts are dead...."

GOD: "Haven't I shown you your own gift of prophecy?"

Brandi: "Definitely! I don't know...there are just so many frauds out there..."

GOD: "The other day, didn't your Mom have problems with the DVD player?"

Brandi: "Yeah."

GOD: "But it still works, right?"

Brandi: "Yeah, she just doesn't know how to use it. She's never been terribly technical."

GOD: "And just because they don't use my gifts right doesn't mean that the gift doesn't work."

I love my conversations with God.

posted by Brandi at 8:51 PM