Time to Speak Up

I've got a bone to pick with the body of Christ (aka, the Church). What is your deal with the mentally ill? From what I can tell, there are two schools of thought on this issue—a:you're not right with God or b: let's just pretend there's not an issue and it will all go away. As someone who IS mentally ill, neither one of those is a good solution to the problem—and there IS a problem. I realize that my particular illness is one of the milder ones. But I'm sure those with schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder would say the same thing. Where are you when we need you?

All I Need Is Jesus
First I want to speak to those who thing that psychology is nothing but Freudian poppycock. Honestly, that's like saying that all medical doctors of today are peddling nothing but snake oil. Psychology is no different than cardiology or any other medical specialty. Cardiology is the study of the heart and vascular system—how it works and how to treat it when something goes wrong. Psychology is the study of the mental processes and behaviors of the mind and how to treat it when something goes wrong. While I'm sure they had some very grounded ideas, Freud and Jung and numerous others also did the science of psychology a great disservice by presenting very subjective and untestable theories as fact. But you can't throw the baby out with the bathwater on this. Disorders like schizophrenia, MPD, depression and bipolar are very real problems. Yes, they ARE all in our heads *grin* but they are most definitely NOT imaginary. And just like anyone else would take medication for an ailment, whether it be a thyroid deficiency, diabetes, or a simple headache, people with mental disorders should have the same freedom to do so without someone telling them "you need to get your heart right with God," or "read your Bible and pray more." Really, if these disorders were an issue of sin or needing more time with God, don't you think that the problem would be resolved when we started doing that? Christians mean well when they tell us these things, but all it ends up doing is making us feel guilty when it DOESN'T solve the problem. I found a short article on about.com that speaks directly to this.

Diane, a member of our forums, shared her experience and frustration with the views of Lisa and Ryan Bazler, authors of Psychology Debunked – a book and weekly newsletter proclaiming to expose psychology and exalt Christ. In response to one of this group’s newsletters Diane writes, “If bipolar disorder is fake then what is happening to us? Why can we feel our bodies shift from one state to another? Is PMS all in our minds? Is the brain not a physical part of the body? Can it not malfunction? Is Alzheimers fake too? Are you saying that a malfunctioning brain cannot affect the body and mind? If you do not believe in drug therapy and psychology then what is your alternative medicine? People are dealing with this everyday so saying that it doesn't exist isn't helping anyone....Although there are Christians who are against any kind of medicines, a lot of Christians think its fine to take meds for ‘physical’ problems, but not for ‘psychological’ problems. Well, physically there's proof of brain damage from manias. Apparently there's also research indicating that depressions cause brain shrinkage. Also MRIs clearly show variations in brain functioning between those who are normal and those with depression. When a person is depressed, the brain colors are all kinds of blues. When a person is manic, the brain lights up with reds and yellows. These are physical manifestations of what some people call a purely emotional problem.”

I do have to make a confession on the whole "get your heart right" solution, though. In my particular case of bipolar disorder, while others tend to get overly hyperactive and throw caution to the wind, I get very irritable and angry. And as a result, I say things and do thing that I would not normally do. I say very hateful and hurtful things to my wonderful husband, who usually just looks me in the eye and says, "did you take your meds this morning?" He knows I don't mean them, and yes, controlling my tongue is VERY hard, but just because it's a result of my bipolar doesn't mean that I'm issued a "get out of jail free" card when it comes to sin. I am still responsible for what I do and say. I still have to go back to God, Ben (and sometimes Adriana) and ask for forgiveness. I'm still responsible to continue to work on controlling my tongue and my anger when I'm in my right mind so that when my mood does swing, I can take myself out of the situation and there for "run from the temptation" to blow up.

Please Understand Me
I also want to speak to those in the Body who just want to pretend the problem doesn't exist or that we could get better help elsewhere. I think the following statement from the above article pretty much sums it up perfectly.

“If Christians are truly the Body of Christ and God has made it clear that no one is supposed to go it on their own then why in the world would we assume that we are supposed to be strong enough on our own with mental disorders?

Mental disorders affect all areas of life—physical, mental, and even spiritual. Especially spiritual! I can tell you from my own experience with bipolar disorder that my biggest struggle has been spiritual. For two years before my diagnosis, my spiritual walk was anything but easy. I could no longer hear God speaking to me. My prayers, if I could utter them at all, were powerless and hollow. Many times, all I could get out was, "help." I did my devotions, I read my Bible constantly, I went to church. Nothing made it go away. Then once I had a diagnosis, that's when all the questions started. "Why me? Did I do something wrong? Is God mad at me?" That's also when the Enemy began to whisper questions and accusations to me. "How can you be the Christian you think you are? You've hardly prayed at all in the last two years. And with all that anger and the constant snide comments, who are you fooling? You haven't acted any differently than any other unbeliever. Besides...if you have the Holy Spirit like you say you do, shouldn't you be able to control your temper? Because you didn't do a very good job of it." The guilt weighed heavily on my heart. And while I had a friend or two who told me that God hadn't left me and that everything would be okay (and I'm VERY thankful for that), I needed more. I needed someone to come alongside me and tell me that there was nothing to be ashamed of. I needed someone to understand the struggle (or at least try) and tell me they'd help me sort things out. I need to know that I wasn't alone. What I needed a support group—a group of fellow believers on the same rocky road was just thrown on. But you know what? There isn't one. In Colorado Springs—the evangelical Mecca with Christian ministries galore and a church on EVERY corner—there's nothing. If they're out there, I haven't found them. I can only make guesses as to why there's nothing out there for Christians like me. Shame is probably the biggest one. Because of the stigma attached to mental illness, we don't want to tell anyone we have it. So we end up toughing it out on our own...suffering silently in the process.

Please don't ignore us. I know some of us might be a little weird sometimes and might make you uncomfortable, but a lot of that stuff we can't control. That's why we're on medication. In talking about this, a certain woman named Judy comes to mind. If you were friends with me at Northland during my freshman year ('92-'93), you probably heard a story or two about Judy. She was a woman in her 40's who came faithfully to First Bible Baptist every Sunday. Judy was...um...interesting. I'm not exactly sure what she had, but she frequently wandered around the sanctuary, choir loft and the empty baptistry DURING the service. Sometimes her journey was accompanied by different animal noises. Pastor Keck would put his arm around her and lead her back to the people she was sitting with—he never missed a beat in his sermon. No one gave it a second thought. They all loved Judy and did what they could to help her in her walk with Christ. I'll admit that my only real interaction with Judy kinda freaked me out. She was sharing with me before the service one night that she was very disappointed with the meat selection in her care home and that she was seriously considering reverting back to cannibalism—children to be specific. That's why she stayed upstairs in the morning while we held AWANA downstairs. She didn't want to be tempted. My only response to her was, "Oh, Judy...you...don't want to do that...." I was taken off guard. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't understand her. That was the real issue—I didn't understand.

Did you know that 90% of people who commit suicide have some type of mental disorder at the time of their death? Did you know that in marriages where one spouse is bipolar that 90% of them end in divorce (Psychology Today, Nov 2003)? Even the question of whether or not to start a family comes into question—something I personally am in the middle of now. Had I known that I was at a much higher risk for developing postpartum psychosis, I'm not sure that I would have tried to get pregnant this time. I at least would have waited until my disorder was a little more stabilized. Maybe you're not someone who struggles with any of these or has a family member who does (I have four&mdashyou can borrow one of mine!). If you don't know anything about what we have, ask us. Please don't judge us—this isn't something we asked for. When we've got medications to help our bodies function normally, we're just like anyone else you know. We have jobs and homes and families and hobbies. We hate Monday morning traffic, and enjoy a weekend get-away every so often. I'm not saying that someone needs to start something FOR us. I only ask that you make the church a safe place for us to come out of the "mental illness closet" and try to support one another.

posted by Brandi at 4:36 PM