Finally At Home

Not physically, but spiritually. After many disappointing attempts, we were FINALLY able to attend house church yesterday. Talk about a sigh of relief!! It's clear out in the Parker/South Aurora area (about 30 to 40 minutes), but it is SO worth the drive. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to think about it when we first walked in, but after the adults all sat down and started talking, I settled in just fine. I felt really bad, because Ben hardly talked at all. But I told everyone that staying home with Adri, I don't get my 15,000 words out every day (unless you count "no no Adri" over and over...and over). While we at dinner, we sat around the kitchen table and talked about what it means to be "The Church" (i.e. the body of Christ) and how we're supposed to flesh that out with one another and with others outside our immediate circle. Then the kids (about 8 of them) all came downstairs and sat down to watch Narnia and the adults went into the living room and just sat there for a while, each individually spending time with God, reading and listening to what He was saying to us. Then after a while we started talking about what we felt the Holy Spirit had been showing us. Then we looked at everything to see if we could find some unifying "theme/s" with what we all had been talking with God about. One of the biggest things that came out was using our lips to Praise God&emdash;especially in the hard times. I had never really understood what a "sacrifice of praise" was. It's not like praise is a hard thing to do. Especially when it comes to singing. Even with the problems that I've had with my voice since being pregnant, I almost ALWAYS have a praise song on my lips. But lately with all the stress of moving and living with my parents and trying to work through all the financial lessons I've been learning, and learning to sacrifice myself to give to my daughter, I've noticed that I haven't been praising as much. It's almost like I have to force myself to do it&emdashlike a sacrifice. It's hard. I don't feel like thanking God for the situation we're in. I don't like it. I don't want it. I want my own home and my own space. I don't want to be on a restrictive budget. But you know what? I can praise God that I have a roof over my head and parents who are willing to help us despite my stupidity with our finances. I can praise Him that Ben has a full time job with good benefits and room to grow. I can praise Him that we didn't have to file bankruptcy and completely ruin any chance we had of getting our own home in the near future (we're not THAT far in debt, but it sure feels like it). I can praise Him that I finally have a doctor who took the time to listen to me about my PCOS and actually diagnose me and treat me for it! He DOES love us, and He IS staking care of us. Casting Crowns has a song called "Praise You in This Storm" from their lastest CD that has really become my theme song of late.

Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

posted by Brandi at 9:36 AM